Because of Him_The Forgiveness Duo Read online

  “Where have you been?” Cassie looks surprised to see, “did you finally walk out?” her eyes straight on the bag in my hands.

  “I did. And now I’ll need to figure out what to do next,” I place the box on the living room table.

  “I actually took the liberty to check out some buildings for lease,” full of excitement she shows off the websites on her laptop, “check this one out,” she starts to scroll and give me all the details listed, “and there’s a big window there, you could set up some desks with computers for writing.”

  “Why are you so crazy about this?”

  “I want to see you succeed, duh. Look at this one, it’s not far from here so you won’t have to spend a lot on gas money to get to work,” she continues to scroll and throw too much information at me at once.

  “Okay, I’ll check them out later,” I get up from the couch and make us a drink in the kitchen. “Besides, I have to call my parents and explain to them why I need their help financially. You know I don’t have enough money to start my own business, but I’m also too talented to be wasted in an office with others. Damn, I sound fucked up,” I laugh.

  “You’re changing a lot in your life,” she joins me in the kitchen, “and suddenly.”

  “Cassie. Do you remember how much I struggled last year? I felt like I was just doing my job of sharing everyone else’s magical photos and stories. I felt underrated. Unnoticed. Then suddenly Noah passes and I realize, this is going to sound rough, but he was holding me back. I could’ve been something more. I could’ve done something more. I just stuck around to make him happy. To support his career while mine got put on the back burner. He was the successful one in the relationship. He made the money. And at the time, it didn’t bother me. I never saw it that way. Now looking back, I think I wasn’t as strong with him as I am on my own. A relationship defined me when it shouldn’t have. You know?” I finish our mojitos I had prepared for us.

  “I get it.”

  When, if not now?

  Amazingly, life is going uphill. Two months have gone by and I’m finally getting back to my old self. The person I always imagined I’d be. With the help of my amazing parents I found the perfect building to start my own magazine. Funny enough, it was one of the buildings Cassie had shown me. She was so in love with the building that had an entire floor empty and potentially would work great for a magazine. To begin with, it was more than I had anticipated and actually envisioned, my vision didn’t go beyond a basement office, but she insisted that it would work great. Then it happened. I decided to pull her in as my partner. Anything that would be accomplished would be under both of our names. Friendships aren’t supposed to be bonded with business, but sometimes you can’t help but work with the people you’re closest to. She’s not just my partner on drunken weekends and conversations, but she’s also my partner in business now. Together we can make this a magazine everyone will be talking about. I would hope. She reminds me every day though, it’s not going to be easy and we’re going to have to work harder than we’ve ever had to. People would probably call us crazy, that’s what Bennett does, but we’ve got this figured out.

  Arriving in the parking lot of our building, I admire the glass dome of the front doors. It’s modern, but the side brick reminds you you’re still in Music City. It’s classy and fancy. Once we arrive on the fourth floor overlooking parts of the city in the general direction of the Batman Building, also known as the AT&T building, I’m in awe of the size of the hallway to the front desk, however, the welcome desk is mindboggling. It’s a semi-circle made of dark wood and silver sidings. A black and white image of the city hangs behind it perfectly matching.

  “They even left computers?” I question Cassie shocked at the crazy amount of computer screens and TV screens around.

  “Yeah, the company that occupied this space before, had some legal shit going on, they had to pack up and leave everything behind. A big plus for us, isn’t it?”

  “No shit it is, every desk has a Mac, hell, they even left the big printer/copier,” I notice in an office space.

  “Score!” she shouts as she looks out of the window of each room, “And the furniture,” she makes herself comfortable on a couch, “is pretty fancy and modern, too.” She’s as excited as I am.

  I continue to walk the kiddy corners of this unusual floor plan and stumble across a kitchenette with four barstools sitting across a bar. The kitchen is finished off with an espresso machine of the rich and famous, along with a microphone that looks like it came out of a science fiction movie.

  “Pinch me,” I mumble to Cassie nerding out over the space we were able to buy for a great deal.

  “It is pretty fucking awesome here, isn’t it? Imagine all the stories you’ll be writing and all the pictures we’ll be editing from all the glorious places you’ll be visiting.”

  “When am I going to have time to travel when I’m the boss giving orders?” I joke.

  “Baby steps,” she laughs, “for now this space is for us only,” she winks. “Now, we need to discuss a name for the magazine,” she sits behind one of the desks chewing on a pencil attempting to look professional.

  Giving your baby a name isn’t easy – you compare names, you remember enemies, friends, and debate hard on a name. Naming your company is way harder though. You want it to say – hey, buy me, but also catchy enough people will remember it talking to their friends; it has to be easy on the font print as well.

  Back at our place, we brainstorm names for the magazine while listening to our favorite decade of music on Spotify – the 60’s.

  “What about Opry Times?” she writes down on a notebook.

  “No, scratch that, sounds too much like music,” I look up to the ceiling, “what about Centennial travel?”

  She shrugs, “I don’t know,” she notes it. “West End Travel?”

  “Hmm,” I think.

  “Or Music City Travels?” I nod, I actually kind of like that one.

  “Wait!” I finally have the perfect name and jot it down just to see what it would look like on paper, “What about this?” I show her and watch her eyes widen with glee and excitement.

  “I love it. That’s it,” she claps her hands together with much merriment.

  Assuming it would take us days to figure out a name we were surprised to have finished and agreed on one fairly quickly, and in honor, we decide to go downtown to Tootsies to listen to a live band and have a few beers. Cassie is strutting a navy scallop strapless smock dress with a brown belt, her favorite brown leather cowboy boots, and a jean jacket. Meanwhile I’m in a V-neck split sleeve adorable chiffon style white dress with my favorite distressed brown crater cowhide leather boots with floral embroidery. Jean jacket? No way. It’ll be hot in the bar.

  Smart girls take the bus downtown knowing they’re going to get drunk wasted and not capable of making their way back home. We are those smart girls.

  “We should stop by Big Time Boots,” Cassie mentions as we walk down Broadway before stopping at our favorite bar.

  “Don’t you think you have enough boots?”

  “Girl, country girls can never have enough boots,” she throws me a mischievous smile.

  As we walk Broadway we pass some musicians on the street and toss them a few dollars into their hat. Everyone is trying to make it big in this town. Passing every bar, we listen to the live music enjoying the crowds of tourists singing along. We take a pit stop at Margaritaville as we listen to our favorite song, Peggy Sue. Swaying our hips to the music we flirt with anyone passing us. Laughing, giggling, and dancing to the beat. Walking into the purple tootsies, a building you sure can’t miss when strolling Broadway, we’re met with a big crowd while enjoying the sounds of Keith Urban playing. Most tourists freak out when they hear Keith, but to us it’s standard to walk into Tootsies and find a famous country star. The music drowns out any commotion you might be able to hear from fellow visitors. We come to enjoy some good cold beer and the music. Stomping our feet to the beat w
e’re consumed in the music and toss one beer after the other singing every word of Black Leather jacket.

  “Let’s get T-Shirts,” I shout over the music at Cassie.

  “You mean one of those purple ones? You wanna match?” she shouts in return.

  “Yeah,” I try to get the bartenders attention, “I think we should wear them to the opening.” I’m already tipsy.

  “You’re crazy,” she screams as she raises her bottle in honor of a toast.

  Hours have gone by and it’s clear, we can barely stand anymore. We decide to leave the bar when a feeling rushes through me and I stop dead in my tracks.

  “Are you okay?” she asks as the music had takes a break.

  “You see that guy,” I point to a man in the corner by the window.

  “What about him?” her words slur.

  “That’s Noah,” I stare.

  “Honey. Noah is dead,” she shakes her head in annoyance, “let’s go.”

  “No Cassie. That’s Noah,” I’m adamant but instead of walking over there I just stare like a crazy person.

  “Let’s go,” Cassie tries to pull me by my arm, “it’s time we go home.”

  “I can’t leave him,” tears stream down my face.

  “You wanna get something to eat?” she continues to pull me out of the bar until I can’t hold still anymore and just walk along leaving Noah behind.

  “That had to be him, it looked like him, I swear I could smell him.” Is the grief really that deep?

  “It’s natural for you to think that,” Cassie tries to talk some sense, “but really, Noah died about four months ago, he’s not coming back. As much as I want him to for you, he’s not,” her sad face is making me sad.

  “I know,” I mumble wishing I could wake from the dream, “I want a lollipop,” I laugh.

  “Girl, you drunk,” she laughs.

  “And hungry,” I agree.

  It felt so real. Seeing Noah at the bar. I know it’s all in my head and I’ve heard many times losing someone in such a way can result in seeing them in likely places. I wanted to go over there. I should’ve. I should’ve looked him in the eye and then realized it wasn’t him. How embarrassing would that have been?

  Unless Noah was revived from the dead, he’s gone. Time to accept it.

  When I was a little girl I always wrote diaries. Every night I would write my wildest dreams, ideas, goals, and things that made me happy. I was excited to share those words. Words that became my life in high school. I excelled in every English class I could get my hands on. I loved literature. Books. Words in general. I had the dream of becoming a journalist. At the time I was more intrigued by murders and writing their stories. As I grew older I found I wanted to travel. I decided a career in travel and journalism would be perfect for me. I graduated with a journalism degree and was able to stay with the company I had interned with. And now, a few years later I’m able to start my own magazine with my best friend and travel to unlikely places. I want to show the things not many people know, the hidden gems worth traveling to.

  Some of the basic local stories have been written, we’ve put in a print, ordered a few hundred copies, and placed them around the office. We’ve also hired catering and decorated in a black and white theme to show off our magazine. Friends and old colleagues have been invited and we’re ready to show off just what we’ve been working hard for. Excitement fills us with pride and joy as we open the doors to our very own first magazine. The name proudly displayed behind a white curtain we’re excited to announce to the media and the world our brand. But first we have to open the doors to the world.

  “You ready?” Cassie asks knowing this is the beginning of a new journey.

  “As I’ll ever be,” I grin as we unlock the office door and open wide.

  Shocked I see Bennett standing right before me unexpectedly. Unsure with all the anxiety and nerves filled inside of me, I leap into his arms as I see him standing on the other side of the door. His burly arms hold me up. I eagerly kiss his lips. That’s when I see her. His wife is standing right behind him in utter shock.

  “Don’t worry, I kiss everyone I hadn’t seen in a long time like this.” It’s the first and only excuse to escape my lips.

  Dumfounded his wife stares me up and down as I slowly move away from Bennett and mouth “sorry,”

  “We’re here to check out the magazine,” he grins as he passes by me along with the crowd of people that had accumulated behind them.

  Mingling with potential sponsors and advertisers for the magazine, I take a deep breath at a table in the corner trying to observe everything happening around me when Bennett approaches me.

  “I was not expecting you,” I speak softly.

  “Surprise,” he jokes, “I’m sorry I shocked you.”

  “I’m sorry I jumped into your arms not realizing the wife was behind you.”

  “She insisted on coming along,” he sighs and I can’t help and ask why. “She’s a hopeful human being and thinks if she spends more time with me I might reconsider the divorce.”

  “Will it work?” I’m curious.

  “Not in this lifetime. Never. Nope,” he says, clear as day, not once taking a moment to pause and think.

  “Hmm. Did you get a glass of champagne?”

  “Yeah”, he nods staring at me, “I can’t believe I actually get to see you,” he grins.

  “Took you long enough,” I tease as I feel him inch closer to me, “we can’t,” I remind him as I feel his arms hug me tight.

  “Just needed to hug you,” he whispers into my ear and suddenly I feel butterflies.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Cassie taps me on the shoulder, “but it’s time we reveal the sign. Hey Bennett.”

  “Hey Cassie,” he lets go of me.

  “We’ll catch up later,” throwing him a small wink.

  After a speech to explain how we got to this moment. After the basics were said and done, Cassie and I each grab hold of the white linen covering the title, “We hereby announce, Nash & Go, the new Travel Magazine with unique and unlikely stories.” The sign is blue and white each word warped. It’s basic yet exclusive. Distinguished on its own terms.

  Guests are wandering the premises looking at the magazine; it’s a strange yet proud feeling to know I might become a household name. I know it’s all still new and refreshing and the possibility of it flopping runs high, but I’m not giving up. I will make something of this.

  I find Bennett and Cassie at a table engrossed in a conversation while his wife is only a few inches from him. Observing them from a distance without their knowledge I notice the fact he inches away from her as she leans in closer to him. He’s over it. She doesn’t get it. The anger crosses his face, as Cassie appears confused and ready to explode. Joining them I lean onto Cassie and nudge her in a way to remind her how badass we actually are. Their conversation surrounds my next story for the magazine.

  “I was just telling Bennett and his wife about your next trip,” she takes a drink.

  “The one to the abandoned state prison?”

  “She has an appointment to go,” Cassie seems flattered more than I am.

  “You do? You have to take me with you. I’ve told Sabrina,” a quick flash to his wife, “that I would love to go inside.”

  “He talks about it all the time. He’s infatuated with anything abandoned. I get scared of it so I won’t even listen to him talk about it,” Sabrina tries to be part of the conversation.

  “I didn’t know that about you,” there’s something about her I don’t like.

  “There’s a lot you don’t know. So, what have I gotta do to go with you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I think it would be a great idea, that way you’re not alone there.” I know exactly what Cassie is doing.

  “I’ll protect you,” he nudges my shoulder and gives me his pleading look.

  Looking at Sabrina to see her reaction and she seems stoic.

  “I’ll let you know,” I rea
ssure him.

  After a long day of working and talking, I’ve completely lost my voice and it was all worth it. Cleaning up the last of the dishes, I feel a hand on my shoulder, “need any help?” the male voice whispers.

  “Shit, you scared the fuck out of me,” I drop the plate into the sink, luckily it didn’t break.

  “Sorry,” Bennett apologizes.

  “I thought you already left,” I dry my hands never taking my eyes off his gazing blue eyes and scruffy beard.

  “I took Sabrina home and something made me turn around and come back.”

  “Did you forget something?” If he’s trying to flirt, I’m definitely blind to the signals.

  “I did,” he mumbles coming closer and closer to me, “I forgot this,” he pulls my chin, leans towards my lips with his and I feel myself backing up.

  “That’s not a good idea,” I shake my head no, steering clear of his eyes in worry to see a disappointed look. He sighs. A part of me feels guilty, maybe I’ve been leading him on, other part of me feels proud – he’s married. I don’t meddle in someone else’s relationship or even marriage.

  “I understand,” he mumbles as he takes a few steps back, “But can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” I try to go back to drying the dishes.

  “Will you take me with you on the adventure?” A sigh of relief leaves my lips.

  Laughing I nod my head, “sure,” and feel much better about this conversation.

  Sitting in the driveway of Bennett’s house I watch Sabrina try to kiss him goodbye as he shakes his head and pushes her away. You can see the love had faded away. He doesn’t look at her as a husband should when leaving the wife behind. You can see how hard she tries. She’s trying to save something that doesn’t appear to be there anymore. I feel sorry for her.